It’s my duty as a parent to guide my kids not control them. They have opinions, thoughts and feelings outside of what mommy-daddy feels and believes. See, I didn’t always think like this. I was raised to fear my parents, to not question my parents, to just listen and obey. Goodness as I read what I just wrote, that sounds horrible. Now, don’t get me wrong; I turned out pretty darn decent. Lol So, I’m not saying my parents were some type of animals, I was raised to the best of their ability. They raised me as they were taught. Somewhere along the family line, someone has to decide to think for themselves, to do what’s best and not just what was taught.
Today, I was browsing through IG and came across Tia Mowry post about cutting her son, Cree’s hair. She wrote: “I explained why I cut my son hair; it’s plain and simple . . . He asked me to”. I got all excited and started clapping as though I was a guest in a studio audience, the person on the side had cued for us to smile, clap and yell. lol It was so awesome to read her response. I follow Tia on social media, and for the longest of time I’ve seen so many people pass judgment and make sly remarks in reference to her son hair. “He’s not a girl . . . Why you won’t cut his hair . . . Just cut it already, etc.” Once again, social media never fells me, another comment under a post that was meant to showcase how happy, proud and excited Cree was to get a hair cut and simply look like his dad. There was this one comment that stood out. Another useless and unwarranted comment. “Nice hair cut Cree. It’s about time Tia. He should of had that hair cut a long time ago. He shouldn’t have to tell you that”. Wow, is all I could think. Is she serious? It took everything in me to not reply to her useless comment. Instead I decided to write about it. Lol
Our kids are people too, listen to them . . .
I’m not saying don’t discipline our children. I’m not saying allow them to do and say whatever they choose. I’m saying; they have thoughts, feelings and opinions too. Let’s learn to listen to our children more as opposed to forcing our ways upon them.
Whats wrong with allowing our kids to express themselves? Their form of expression may be through the way they dress, the way they wear their hair, etc. As parents, guide them along the right path but don’t strip them of their own personal identity, opinions and or beliefs. Allow them to have a sense of self.
My son’s father and I decided well before he was born that we were going to do things completely different from what/how we were taught by our parents. So far so good! Caden (my son) is intelligent, funny, wise, a free-thinker, voices his opinions; yet, he’s still kind and polite. Because we’re the adults and birthed him doesn’t make this a dictatorship. We respect our son’s opinions and thoughts, in return he respects our opinion (yes, there is pushback and tantrums at times; he’s still a kid. But theres ways of handling that). We explain things to him, we don’t just force him to do things “because we said so”. We give him choices and explain consequences.
My son LOVES his hair, if we jokingly say we’re going to cut it; he has a meltdown. Lol Why would we force a haircut upon him when it’s obvious that would hurt him. In my opinion that’s not smart parenting. Just as Tia with Cree’s hair, when Caden is ready for a haircut; I’m sure he’ll express that to us. But for now, regardless of what anyone has to say (screw your opinion) Caden’s kinky, curly, natural tresses will remain. That’s why I won’t cut my son’s hair . . .
Sincerely, Mika 💋